In this issue: “You May Not Play a Part on TV But You Better Stay ‘In Character’ or Your Friends May Turn The Channel!”
D r. S u l o ‘ s
A c c e l e r a t e d P e r s u a s i o n
N e w s l e t t e r
“The World’s Most Effective Sales, Persuasion and
Influence Tactics..SIMPLIFIED”
_________________________________________________
Vol. 2, No. 4 June 5, 2001
_________________________________________________
How Your Perceptual Character™ Defines How You Can Act Around Others
“…even in the most insignificant details of our
daily life, none of us can be said to constitute a
material whole, which is identical for everyone, and
need only be turned up like a page in an account-book
or the record of a will; our social personality is a
creation of the thoughts of other people. Even the
simplest act which we describe as “seeing someone we
know” is to some extent an intellectual process. We
pack the physical outline of the person we see with
all the notions we have already formed about him, and
in the total picture of him which we compose in our
minds those notions have certainly the principal
place. In the end they come to fill out so completely
the curve of his cheeks, to follow so exactly the line
of his nose, they blend so harmoniously in the sound
of his voice as if it were no more than a transparent
envelope, that each time we see the face or hear the
voice it is these notions which we recognise and to
which we listen…”
MARCEL PROUST – OVERTURE
The following is a response I wrote to an individual who is interested in using Speed Seduction™ which was created by Ross Jeffries. I have removed names for privacy (even though a screen name was used and this post is publicly available on an open list).
I do not agree with much of the Speed Seduction™ methodology for a variety of reasons. I offer the following only to illustrate my concepts of The Perceptual (or virtual) Character™ and of the two types of persuasion.
The original question J. asked had to do with trying to turn a friend into a girlfriend and how he changed his normal verbal patterns and behaviors to force her into complying.
Here was my response:
Hello J.,
I offer a solution to your problem in this post and also give you a framework to view what is going on anytime you are relating with people. Bear with me as I take you through some ideas, definitions and examples so you can more easily see how I’ve come to my suggested solution.
First, I’d like to introduce you to the concept of The Perceptual Character™ and Doktor Sulo’s Law Of Perceptual Difference™.
First, my definition of The Perceptual Character™:
The set of behaviors, characteristics, mannerisms, attitudes and revealed beliefs that someone packs into the concept of “you”.
When someone you’ve known for a while, like M., thinks about “you”, she’s actually thinking of your Perceptual Character she created; All the different behaviors, characteristics, mannerisms, attitudes and revealed beliefs you have exposed her to over time that she has condensed into one neat little package called “J.”.
People create a Perceptual Character of others VERY early on in any relationship context whether it be business, friendship, or romantic.
Every thing you do, every thing you say, every story you tell early on contributes to them formulating their version of your Perceptual Character.
Now, Doktor Sulo’s Law of Perceptual Difference™:
“The dissatisfaction of a customer, spouse, business partner, or anyone you relate to is directly proportional to the difference between their perceptions of what should occur and what actually does occur.”
So, anytime you introduce new behaviors, attitudes, or beliefs to someone who has already created their Perceptual Character of you, you will invoke the Law of Perceptual Difference™. UNLESS, you have built the option of you CHANGING into their version of your Perceptual Character early on. (The method to do this would take about 10 pages, so I’ll save that for another day).
Just like a movie character, your perceived character will define how you can “act” with a certain person (or they will start resisting you).
Since I’m on the subject of actors, think in your mind and count how many actors you know that have successfully transitioned or crossed over from one type of character to another or one genre to another. (Very few).
This brings to light the concepts on a larger scale. People won’t pay to see someone they have pegged as one type of actor in a role they don’t think is appropriate.
Would you pay to see Rick Moranis (Honey I Shrunk The Kids) in a part that Arnold Schwartzenegger would normally play?
How about Rick Moranis in Terminator IV?
Well J., your box office ticket sales just plummeted with M. She’s not paying to see you play this new Ross Jeffries character.
The best example I can give for all of this is a universal one. It involves when people first get into a romantic relationship. I think Chris Rock said something like-”When two people meet, they are not actually meeting each other. It’s more like ‘your agent meets my agent’”.
People unconsciously uncover or pick up on each others criteria and begin to present themselves according to that criteria. The problems come a few months later when they start introducing who they “really are”.
That’s when the problems and breakups start. And I’ve seen relationships go on for years like that. They breakup. They get back together. Each person pretending to accept the others new character but really they are just biding time so they can change the other back into “the way you were when I first met you”.
This leads to the next point. Nearly everyone is using a “closing-outcome-Get This” based persuasion model instead of a “relating-ongoing based” persuasion model when it comes to relationships of all kinds. And it leads to lots and lots of trouble.
Both models work in the right context.
What do I mean?
Well the Closing-Outcome based model comes from product sales. It’s where you get someone to buy something and that is the end of the interaction. If I get you to buy a TV from me and I’m a TV salesman, I’ve succeed in my outcome as a salesman.
I elicit the criteria people want in a TV, what process they need to go through to buy it, I take their money and that’s that.
This is the model that nearly every seducer uses today to seduce. “I want to get so and so what do I need to do so they ‘buy’ me.” Not taking into consideration than unlike the TV sale it’s not over once they’ve bought (unless you are going for a one night stand, in which case this model works fine).
People use this when going for a job. They try to find out what an employer wants. They feed it back to the employer. They get their outcome- a job. What they don’t consider is what they have created in the process- THE PERCEPTUAL CHARACTER™ and that now they have to live up to it.
Most people think they’ll “get in the door” and then they can introduce their “real” character. What a mistake!!!
Can you live up, OVER TIME, to all the behaviors, attitudes, etc. that you’ve introduced?
If not, people are going to stop watching your movie. (ie- No raise, fired, fights with your significant other, etc.) And even if you can, is it really the way you LIKE to behave? Does it contribute to your overall lifestyle?
If not, let me tell you, the job or the relationship is going to be a real drain.
Keep this in mind- major behavioral change is not that simple for most people to do. Cross you arms. Now cross them the other way. Feels weird doesn’t it? Now think about that when you try to make sweeping personality changes.
The “relating-ongoing” based model of persuasion acknowledges that in every communication you are laying the groundwork for further communication. It also acknowledges that you are creating a Perceptual Character in another person’s mind and that you have to either live up to it or invoke Doktor Sulo’s Law Of Perceptual Difference. It requires that you take an inventory of the way you act, behave, think, believe and then it requires that you take all this and persuade other people to think your way is ATTRACTIVE. It would take too much room to explain how I do that here. But, I do touch on it a little bit in my newsletters.
Now, back to your situation J. Now that you have some background on The Perceptual Character and I think you realize what is occurring in your interaction with M., what can you do about it?
Well, first off take a hint from Vince McMahon of the WWF, probably the best character marketer of all time. He has stated repeatedly that all of his wrestler’s characters are just EXAGERRATED presentations of the real person behind the wrestlers persona.
So, first off, do what I suggested and define how you would like to act and make sure you can do the behaviors involved. If you want to take Mr. Jeffries’ behavioral ideas, fine. Just think about it first.
Next, take another hint from Vince McMahon. Any time he introduces a major character change to the public, he first makes that wrestler disappear for a while. Then he brings back the wrestler with his new image.
People are more open to change when time has desensitized their memory.
It’s very similar with people’s emotions. Most cannot hold an emotion for an extended period of time unless the stimulus is continually present or they are looping an experience over an over in their mind (thereby maintaining and intensifying it).
So, you MAY want to disappear from M.’s life for a while.
Remember, people create your Perceptual Character early on in a relationship.
So, if you are going to practice your Ross Jefferies Character, do it with people who don’t know you yet. Get the behaviors down so they are really “you” and you don’t have to pretend.
When you are comfortable with all of that, then reintroduce yourself to M. as the new character. She is more likely to accept it then.
Now this may not be “speedy”, but at your skill level, I doubt that you will be able to pull off a Perceived Character change this big without some major fallout. Plus, if you really want to build in some new behaviors into your life, it’s necessary to have some success to reinforce the behaviors. I doubt you are going to get that with M. right now.
I wish you luck.
Enjoy.
Persuasively,
Christopher Tomasulo
Editor, Dr. Sulo’s Accelerated Persuasion Newsletter
http://www.covertcommunications.com
PERCEPTUAL CHARACTER
“You May Not Play a Part on TV But You Better
Stay ‘In Character’ or Your Friends May Turn The Channel!”
D r. S u l o ‘ s
A c c e l e r a t e d P e r s u a s i o n
N e w s l e t t e r
“The World’s Most Effective Sales, Persuasion and
Influence Tactics..SIMPLIFIED”
daily life, none of us can be said to constitute a
material whole, which is identical for everyone, and
need only be turned up like a page in an account-book
or the record of a will; our social personality is a
creation of the thoughts of other people. Even the
simplest act which we describe as “seeing someone we
know” is to some extent an intellectual process. We
pack the physical outline of the person we see with
all the notions we have already formed about him, and
in the total picture of him which we compose in our
minds those notions have certainly the principal
place. In the end they come to fill out so completely
the curve of his cheeks, to follow so exactly the line
of his nose, they blend so harmoniously in the sound
of his voice as if it were no more than a transparent
envelope, that each time we see the face or hear the
voice it is these notions which we recognise and to
which we listen…”
MARCEL PROUST – OVERTURE
The following is a response I wrote to an individual who is interested in using Speed Seduction™ which was created by Ross Jeffries. I have removed names for privacy (even though a screen name was used and this post is publicly available on an open list).
I do not agree with much of the Speed Seduction™ methodology for a variety of reasons. I offer the following only to illustrate my concepts of The Perceptual (or virtual) Character™ and of the two types of persuasion.
The original question J. asked had to do with trying to turn a friend into a girlfriend and how he changed his normal verbal patterns and behaviors to force her into complying.
Here was my response:
Hello J.,
I offer a solution to your problem in this post and also give you a framework to view what is going on anytime you are relating with people. Bear with me as I take you through some ideas, definitions and examples so you can more easily see how I’ve come to my suggested solution.
First, I’d like to introduce you to the concept of The Perceptual Character™ and Doktor Sulo’s Law Of Perceptual Difference™.
First, my definition of The Perceptual Character™:
The set of behaviors, characteristics, mannerisms, attitudes and revealed beliefs that someone packs into the concept of “you”.
When someone you’ve known for a while, like M., thinks about “you”, she’s actually thinking of your Perceptual Character she created; All the different behaviors, characteristics, mannerisms, attitudes and revealed beliefs you have exposed her to over time that she has condensed into one neat little package called “J.”.
People create a Perceptual Character of others VERY early on in any relationship context whether it be business, friendship, or romantic.
Every thing you do, every thing you say, every story you tell early on contributes to them formulating their version of your Perceptual Character.
Now, Doktor Sulo’s Law of Perceptual Difference™:
“The dissatisfaction of a customer, spouse, business partner, or anyone you relate to is directly proportional to the difference between their perceptions of what should occur and what actually does occur.”
So, anytime you introduce new behaviors, attitudes, or beliefs to someone who has already created their Perceptual Character of you, you will invoke the Law of Perceptual Difference™. UNLESS, you have built the option of you CHANGING into their version of your Perceptual Character early on. (The method to do this would take about 10 pages, so I’ll save that for another day).
Just like a movie character, your perceived character will define how you can “act” with a certain person (or they will start resisting you).
Since I’m on the subject of actors, think in your mind and count how many actors you know that have successfully transitioned or crossed over from one type of character to another or one genre to another. (Very few).
This brings to light the concepts on a larger scale. People won’t pay to see someone they have pegged as one type of actor in a role they don’t think is appropriate.
Would you pay to see Rick Moranis (Honey I Shrunk The Kids) in a part that Arnold Schwartzenegger would normally play?
How about Rick Moranis in Terminator IV?
Well J., your box office ticket sales just plummeted with M. She’s not paying to see you play this new Ross Jeffries character.
The best example I can give for all of this is a universal one. It involves when people first get into a romantic relationship. I think Chris Rock said something like-”When two people meet, they are not actually meeting each other. It’s more like ‘your agent meets my agent’”.
People unconsciously uncover or pick up on each others criteria and begin to present themselves according to that criteria. The problems come a few months later when they start introducing who they “really are”.
That’s when the problems and breakups start. And I’ve seen relationships go on for years like that. They breakup. They get back together. Each person pretending to accept the others new character but really they are just biding time so they can change the other back into “the way you were when I first met you”.
This leads to the next point. Nearly everyone is using a “closing-outcome-Get This” based persuasion model instead of a “relating-ongoing based” persuasion model when it comes to relationships of all kinds. And it leads to lots and lots of trouble.
Both models work in the right context.
What do I mean?
Well the Closing-Outcome based model comes from product sales. It’s where you get someone to buy something and that is the end of the interaction. If I get you to buy a TV from me and I’m a TV salesman, I’ve succeed in my outcome as a salesman.
I elicit the criteria people want in a TV, what process they need to go through to buy it, I take their money and that’s that.
This is the model that nearly every seducer uses today to seduce. “I want to get so and so what do I need to do so they ‘buy’ me.” Not taking into consideration than unlike the TV sale it’s not over once they’ve bought (unless you are going for a one night stand, in which case this model works fine).
People use this when going for a job. They try to find out what an employer wants. They feed it back to the employer. They get their outcome- a job. What they don’t consider is what they have created in the process- THE PERCEPTUAL CHARACTER™ and that now they have to live up to it.
Most people think they’ll “get in the door” and then they can introduce their “real” character. What a mistake!!!
Can you live up, OVER TIME, to all the behaviors, attitudes, etc. that you’ve introduced?
If not, people are going to stop watching your movie. (ie- No raise, fired, fights with your significant other, etc.) And even if you can, is it really the way you LIKE to behave? Does it contribute to your overall lifestyle?
If not, let me tell you, the job or the relationship is going to be a real drain.
Keep this in mind- major behavioral change is not that simple for most people to do. Cross you arms. Now cross them the other way. Feels weird doesn’t it? Now think about that when you try to make sweeping personality changes.
The “relating-ongoing” based model of persuasion acknowledges that in every communication you are laying the groundwork for further communication. It also acknowledges that you are creating a Perceptual Character in another person’s mind and that you have to either live up to it or invoke Doktor Sulo’s Law Of Perceptual Difference. It requires that you take an inventory of the way you act, behave, think, believe and then it requires that you take all this and persuade other people to think your way is ATTRACTIVE. It would take too much room to explain how I do that here. But, I do touch on it a little bit in my newsletters.
Now, back to your situation J. Now that you have some background on The Perceptual Character and I think you realize what is occurring in your interaction with M., what can you do about it?
Well, first off take a hint from Vince McMahon of the WWF, probably the best character marketer of all time. He has stated repeatedly that all of his wrestler’s characters are just EXAGERRATED presentations of the real person behind the wrestlers persona.
So, first off, do what I suggested and define how you would like to act and make sure you can do the behaviors involved. If you want to take Mr. Jeffries’ behavioral ideas, fine. Just think about it first.
Next, take another hint from Vince McMahon. Any time he introduces a major character change to the public, he first makes that wrestler disappear for a while. Then he brings back the wrestler with his new image.
People are more open to change when time has desensitized their memory.
It’s very similar with people’s emotions. Most cannot hold an emotion for an extended period of time unless the stimulus is continually present or they are looping an experience over an over in their mind (thereby maintaining and intensifying it).
So, you MAY want to disappear from M.’s life for a while.
Remember, people create your Perceptual Character early on in a relationship.
So, if you are going to practice your Ross Jefferies Character, do it with people who don’t know you yet. Get the behaviors down so they are really “you” and you don’t have to pretend.
When you are comfortable with all of that, then reintroduce yourself to M. as the new character. She is more likely to accept it then.
Now this may not be “speedy”, but at your skill level, I doubt that you will be able to pull off a Perceived Character change this big without some major fallout. Plus, if you really want to build in some new behaviors into your life, it’s necessary to have some success to reinforce the behaviors. I doubt you are going to get that with M. right now.
I wish you luck.
Enjoy.
Persuasively,
Christopher Tomasulo
Editor, Dr. Sulo’s Accelerated Persuasion Newsletter
http://www.covertcommunications.com
© 2001 BY CHRISTOPHER TOMASULO. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. “PERCEPTUAL CHARACTER”, “VIRTUAL CHARACTER”, “DR. SULO’S LAW OF PERCEPTUAL DIFFERENCE”, “DR. SULO”, “DOKTOR SULO” AND “ACCELERATED PERSUASION” ARE ALL TRADEMARKS OF CHRISTOPHER TOMASULO AND/OR COVERT COMMUNICATIONS INC. INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THIS PAGE AND IN THIS NEWSLETTER IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. NONE OF THIS NEWSLETTER IS TO BE CONSIDERED LEGAL, PERSONAL OR THERAPEUTIC ADVICE.